In Wonderment I Lay....Lost in La La Land:

You are a Black Coffee

At your best, you are: low maintenance, friendly, and adaptable At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty You drink coffee when: you can get your hands on it Your caffeine addiction level: high

I cannot stand to turn on the T.V. or log on to the internet, for every time I do, my eyes and ears are blasted with visions of Anna Nicole and Brittney Spears. Why? Why do we care? Why are we so freaking out of control as a society that we have nothing better to do, than bring down the lives of celebrities, instead of tending to what is going on in our own back-yards?

Yes, it is very, very sad that Anna Nicole died. Was there mystery behind her death? Highly unlikely, drugs, drugs made her thin, and drugs are probably what killed her. End of story? Well, no! Because now we have all these men coming forth saying they are the father of her 5 month old child. Well, now, isn’t this sad? How many men was she sleeping with? Who cares? That’s the answer. Honestly, if you can’t sleep at night, because you don’t know; then you seriously need to get a life. Let Anna Nicole rest in peace.

Moving on now, to Brittney Spears; why can’t the media (who controls the world and the consciousness of the world by their bull-shit running 24/7) leave her the hell alone? The poor girl has suffered tremendous blows. Sure she married K-Fed, she had kids with K-Fed, and her career started careening downhill faster than a speeding bullet. The paparazzi followed and documented her every good and bad move. But of course, all that is ever reported is the bad news. And let us not forget the 'no panty parade'. I shudder at the thought.

My goodness, the girl catches her husband having sex with another woman, her marriage falls apart, she falls apart, she makes the unfortunate mistake of hanging out with Paris Hilton and falls further into the arms as media’s target for “little girl lost.”  And now all you see on T.V. is “Is Brittney the next Anna Nicole?” Well if the fucked up media has anything to do with it, she will, she will die a tragic death, for everything seems to pan out just as the media predicts. But maybe we could save Brittney, by not listening to the media, not reading all the bull-shit on the internet, and furthermore; not caring about what they say. Maybe we should wish her well, wish her health, peace and love, instead of doing what the media wants us all to do.

Brittney is a human being 1st, star 2nd. She just had two kids, she probably has post-partum depression which makes everything worse, and as I said earlier, her marriage ended horribly, and yes, she has gone crazy. THIS IS NORMAL. This is what happens when marriages fall apart; when there is infidelity, deception, children, etc.. Brittney has feelings (do you think money and fame makes her not able to feel?). She feels pain, she feels misunderstood (and who wouldn't with the media and papparazi in your face 24/7). Should we not allow another human to err on the bad side for a while; after a series of unfortunate events in their lives?  For if someone doesn’t go to the dark side, they will never grow; they will never have character. They will never learn. They will never know who they are. I say it’s better to go a little crazy; than to stay the same, for now that is truly insane.

I could keep writing about how much the media SICKENS me; with their make or breaking of people’s careers, and how they manipulate us and our social consciousness as a whole. They manipulate us the viewers, the stars, the political leaders, actually I’ll just say it…”They manipulate the whole freaking world.” But that would take a book; and I am no writer.

All I am saying is LEAVE THE STARS ALONE! Tend to your own garden—and pay no mind to the bees.

I ran across this quote; and all I can say is..WTF?

 

"I'm so optomistic I'd go after Moby Dick in a row boat and take the tartar sauce with me."

 

I know that people have been wondering or thinking that my getting let go of my job might be a bad thing, or a terrifying thing, after having been there for 6 ½ years. Trust me, it’s not. It’s probably the best thing that ever happened to me. I am sure, and positive that only great things will come of this. I am glad I got the kick in the pants that I needed to get out of my complacency. Obviously, security got the best of me, and I am glad that someone took the security blanket away from me.

I have come up with so many things that I want to do, and I now have that freedom, and I now have no excuses not to do them. All, I can say is “Thank goodness, Byron and I decided to move in together before this happened.” He’s very happy that this happened, because I have been telling him of my wish list and the things I wanted to accomplish this year and in the years to come (none-of which had anything to do with working were I was), hearing me go on and on about what I want, and what I don’t want, so now I am forced to do, to move to the greater, and this is truly a wonderful thing. So trust me, this is all going to turn out well. In fact, I am hoping it will turn out better than expected.

Ahhhhh! A new change, a new journey, a new start to a new and exciting time. Heck, I am getting closer to 40, and I needed to do something else, so bring it on, please!!!!

Change! It's great thing!In the past two years I have been dealt so many blows, hardships and pain, but all of these changes and things have just made me stronger, happier, and more in tune with who I am, and what I want in my life. And boredom and stagnation are not part of my plan. Freedom, excitement and creation, and totally stepping out of my comfort zone are the name of the game. Oh, and a whole lotta love too!

So, as this week comes to a close, all I can say is. I am happy. I will miss the people I worked with, and some of the functions of my job, but that’s the thing. I don’t want a job, I want a life. A balanced life; and I will.

Have a great weekend one and all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Side Note: I was very sad last night watching CSI:Las Vegas, as they killed off guest star Liev Schreiber who played Michael Keppler for 4 episodes. He came in while William L. Peterson who plays Gil Grissom, was away doing his other passion-Theatre. I loved watching Liev on the show for the 4 episodes he was on, and I loved the relationship he had with Marg Helgenburger who plays Catherine.

Why? Why-did they have to kill him off? They should have left it open so he could come back again, when William L. Peterson wanted a leave of absense to go do more theatre work. Plus, I was kinda hoping that he would bring new life to the show, and give Catherine a new spin on things. Oh well!He did a great job, and his character was very interesting indeed.

I hope we see more of Liev, and word has it, his girlfriend of two years (Naomi Watts) is carrying their first child.

...however in this case it's freaking snowing and windy. And I am pissed off!!

 

As of an hour ago--I am now without work.

 

Shocked--NO!

MAD-YES!

Sad-YES!

Fucked-YUP!

 

Right now I am going through a whole range of emotions. And did everything under the sun not to cry on the bus while coming home. I am not shocked, because I was sitting at my desk this afternoon, all I was thinking about was "Man, I don't see how I can do this for another 6 months and make it to 7 years." So when the news came to me that I was being 'TERMINATED' I wasn't suprised.

 

How can anyone in the world hide how completely bored and tired they are? You can only fake it for a while, but while I should have been trying to make a change in my life to get out of there, I chose comfort, while still trying to figure out what my next move was going to be. How stupid of me. Then I became complacent. Then I became confused and I got a bit paralyzed, by what I was doing, where should I go? What should I do with my life? And even though all this questioning to my self; I didn't move at all. I should have been moving. Instead I sat there, and grew older and more bored. How stupid.

Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. Have you ever asked
yourself what cartoon character do you most resemble?

A group of investigators got together and analyzed the personalities
of well known and modern cartoon characters. The information that was
gathered was made into this test.

Answer all the questions (only 10) with what describes you best, add
up all your Points (which are next to the answer that you choose) at
the end and look for your results.

Do not cheat by looking at the end of the e-mail before you are done !

Then forward this to all your friends (including the person who sent
it to you) and change the subject of this message to what character is
you.

1. Which one of the following describes the perfect date?
..a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts.)
..b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.)
..c) Painting in the park (5 pts)
..d) Rock concert (1 pt.)
..e) Going to the movies (3 pts.)


2. What is your favorite type of music?
..a) Rock and Roll (2 pts.)
..b) Alternative (1 pt.)
..c) Soft Rock (4 pts.)
..d) Country (5 pts.)
..e) Pop (3 pts.)

3. What type of movies do you prefer?
..a) Comedy (2 pts.)
..b) Horror (1 pt.)
..c) Musical (3 pts.)
..d) Romance (4 pts.)
..e) Documentary (5 pts.)

4. Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could
choose one of these?
..a) Waiter (4 pts.)
..b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.)
..c) Teacher (3 pts.)
..d) Police (2 pts.)
..e) Cashier (1 pt)

5 What do you do with your spare time?
..a) Exercise (5 pts.)
..b) Read (4 pts.)
..c) Watch television (2 pts.)
..d) Listen to music (1 pt.)
..e) Sleep (3 pts.)

6. Which one of the following colors do you like best?
..a) Yellow (1 pt.)
..b) White (5 pts.)
..c) Sky Blue (3 pts. )
..d) Dark Blue (2 pts.)
..e) Red (4 pts.)

7. What do you prefer to eat?
..a) Snow (3 pts.)
..b) Pizza (2 pts.)
..c) Sushi (1 pt.)
..d) Pasta (4 pts.)
..e) Salad (5 pts.)

8 What is your favorite holiday?
..a) Halloween (1 pt.)
..b) Christmas (3 pts.)
..c) New Year (2 pts.)
..d) Valentine's Day (4 pts.)
..e) Thanksgiving (5 pts.)

9. If you could go to one of these places which one would it be?
..a) Paris (4 pts)
..b) Spain (5 pts)
..c) Las Vegas (1 pt)
..d) Hawaii (4 pts)
..e) Hollywood (3 pts)

10. With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with?
..a) Someone Smart (5 pts.)
..b) Someone attractive (2 pts.)
..c) Someone who likes to Party (1 pt.)
..d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.)
..e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)

Now add up your points and find out the answer you have been waiting for!

Put your character in the subject line and forward to your friends and
back to the person that sent this to you.

Very interesting to see "who" your friends are!

(10-16 points) You are Garfield :
You are very comfortable, easy going, and you definitely know how to
have fun but sometimes you take it to an extreme. You always know what
you are doing and you are always in control of your life. Others may
not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean that you always have
to do what is right. Try to remember, your happy spirit may hurt you
or others.

(17-23 points) You are Snoopy:
You a r e fun, you are very cool and popular. You always know what's
in and you are never are out of style You are good at knowing how to
satisfy everyone else. You have probably disappeared for a few days
more than once but you always come home with the family values that
you learned. Being married and having children are important to you,
but only after you have had your share of fun times

(24-28 points) You are Elmo:
You have lots of friends and you are also popular, always willing to
give advice and help out a person in need. You are very optimistic and
you always see the bright side of things. Some good advice: try not to
be too much of a dreamer. Dreaming too big could cause many conflicts
in your life.

(29-35 points) You are Sponge Bob Square Pants:
You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best
friend that anyone could ever have and never wants to lose. You never
cause harm to anyone and they would never not understand your
feelings. Life is a journey, it's funny and calm for the most part.
Stay away from traitors and jealous people, and you will be stress
free.

(36-43 points) You are Charlie Brown:
You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious
about all relationships. You are a family person. You call your Mom
every Sunday. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few
Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality.

(44-50 points) You are Dexter:
You are smart and definitely a thinker... Every situation is fronted
with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You demonstrate very strong
family principles. You maintain a stable routine but never ignore a
bad situation when it comes. Try to do less over thinking every once
in a while to spice things up a bit with spontaneity!

Now don't spoil it! Have some Fun!! Change the subject of the email to
what you are and send it on!


--
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

-Dr. Seuss
~~~~~~

Are You Blessed?
 - Author Unknown

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness...
you are more blessed than the million who will not survive
this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the
loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the
pangs of starvation... you are ahead of 500 million
people in the world.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back,
a roof overhead and a place to sleep...you are richer than
75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare
change in a dish someplace... you are among the top 8%
of the world's wealthy.

If your parents are still alive and still married...
you are very rare, even in North America.

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are
truly thankful... you are blessed because the majority
can, but most do not.

If you prayed yesterday and today... you are in the
minority because you believe God does hear and answer
prayers.

If you can read this now, you are more blessed than over
two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

THE LOVE SURVEY

1.  DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?  

Absofreakinglutley!!!!!!  

2.  COURTNEY LOVE OR JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT? 

Jennifer - Now she is HOT! (I agree T-mon)  

3.  IF YOU WERE A CANDY HEART, WHAT WOULD YOUR SAYING READ? 

 SWEEEET! 

4.  IF YOU LOVED SOMEONE SO MUCH, WOULD YOU GET THEIR NAME TATTOOED ON YOUR BODY? 

No way Jose’ 

5.  DO YOU THINK LOVE HURTS OR STINKS? 

A little bit of both!   

6.  WHO DO YOU LOVE ENOUGH THAT YOU WOULD TAKE A BULLET FOR? 

Friends, family…B.B.  

7.  DO YOU KNOW WHAT LOVE IS? 

Of course, and there are many facets to love. I love..love.   

8.  HAVE YOU EVER HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN? 

Who hasn’t. And I am sure we have all broken a few ourselves 

 

9.  CINNAMON HEARTS OR HEART BOX OF CHOCOLATE? 

Cinnamon hearts. They are a lot like me. 

 

10.  HAVE YOU EVER USED A DATING SERVICE?  

Does Lavalife count??    

11.  WHAT ARE YOU MOST ATTRACTED TO IN THE OPPOSITE SEX? 

 Strength and great character. And if he doesn’t have a good laugh, I am not interested.    

12.  WHAT TURNS OFF THE ATTRACTION FOR YOU? 

Someone who thinks they are tough, and is high and mighty. They make me cringe  

13.  DOES JOANIE LOVE CHACHI? 

 She did at one time, but tired of him when she realized everyone else was in love with him too?   

14.  EVER PLAY 'SPIN THE BOTTLE' OR '5 MINUTES IN THE CLOSET'? 

Yup, after school with some classmates in Grade 6, boy, did I get in trouble!  

15.  TO RUSSIA WITH LOVE OR THE SPY WHO LOVED ME? 

The Spy Who Loved me!  

16.  HOW COULD SOMEONE PROVE THEIR LOVE TO YOU? 

 Being honest, not holding back, and of course lot’s of massages do the trick too!  

17.  IS THERE ANYBODY YOU KNOW WHO LOVES YOU, BUT IS TOO AFRAID TO TELL YOU?? 

Um, no!!!!!!  At least not that I know of.   

18.  WHAT DESERT DO YOU LOVE THE MOST? 

Strawberry short cake! Yum Yum! (me too Tara.. but I also love Pumpkin Pie with lots of Whipped Cream)    

19.  WHAT DO YOU LOVE THE MOST, BACK RUBS OR FOOT RUBS? 

I don’t like anyone touching my cold, freezing tootsies.

20.  WHAT IS YOUR MOST FAVOURITE LOVE SONG? 

I do not like love songs…I make my own love songs when B.B. is in town, and we both sing in tune….lol 

21.  NAME 5 PEOPLE  YOU LOVE, THAT YOU WILL TAG? 

Simon, T.Mon, Lady Di, C.C., Sam, C.H.  

 

So I have had the flu or something yucky for the past few days. I have a shitload of stuff on my mind at the same time.....AND NOTHING OF THIS WORKS TOGETHER! Sick first, shitload of brain crap second.

 

Anyhow, I am here at my soon to be non-home (in fact, I haven't felt at home in ages...what the hell is home anyway? I miss the feeling of being at home...). Yes, I am miserable on a Saturday night, and all I can say is this. The Calgary-Vancouver hockey game sucked so I turned it off. I wish I was with friends watching the UFC. But alas, I watch tV from bed. Thinking about the few things I have to pack. Yes, I am moving again. But right now...right now, all I can think about, is I wish it was a year ago, and I was out dancing with my boys; laughing and having fun.

 

Funny how life changes so quickly.